Reuben's Birth: Part 6

Tuesday, October 9^th (41 +5)

At midnight, I sent a text to Nichole to see if she was awake and never got a reply. I felt bad for even bothering anyone because I knew no one had slept because of me. I wanted them to rest, and decided if the contractions remained at 5 min apart for an hour that I would call Christine.

According to my timestamp on Facebook, Debbie and I said goodnight at 12:11 AM. She told me to take whatever sleep aid I felt most comfortable with and try to get some rest. At that point, I felt alone. Joel had come home from the store while I was chatting with Debbie, but he was just annoying me and nothing he was doing felt helpful anymore. He tried to give me counter-pressure, but it didn't feel right and I told him to stop touching me. I had him heat up my cherry pits again, and he couldn't get them to me fast enough. Nothing he did was right or good. I stayed on the bed until the cherry pits cooled off, and then I decided to go back to the shower since it was the only thing that gave me relief. I could also be alone there, without the grouchy man who couldn't help me.

As soon as my first foot hit the floor, I felt my legs shaking. And then I got a wave of nausea that subsided as quickly as it had come one. I had been jittery from lack of sleep earlier, so I while I noted both symptoms as something I had experienced at transition with my first VBAC, I quickly pushed them to the back of my mind and attributed them to exhaustion. I made my way to the shower and looked forward to the hot water bringing me some relief. It didn't. It wasn't working anymore. I had three contractions in the shower and the water didn't help one bit. And as I had in my first VBAC, I channeled a little bit of Mandi Call. I thought about her telling the story of her youngest child's birth at the Red Tent I went to the week before my daughter was born. I thought back to her “tip toe pushing”. I thought back to my VBAC when I had a “tip toe contraction” - it was happening again. My body was trying to run away from the intensity. But it couldn't. I couldn't.

I was in the shower less than 10 minutes when I came back to the bed. I managed to hurl myself onto it as quickly as I could and kneeled back over my pillows. I was still wearing my towel and wasn't even completely dry. I threw my phone at my husband and told him to keep timing. At 12:52 AM I finally told him to text Christine and see if she was up. I specifically told him to tell her it was him doing the texting. I knew what it meant when I told him that. I knew that it meant I had to focus too much on the contractions and that this was it. I was really in active labor.

Here's how the conversation went:

Joel: Hey

Christine: Hey

Joel: It's Joel....Shosh says they feel really close together

Christine: What does she do during one?

Joel: She's sorry for waking you up

Christine: It's ok. How far apart?

Joel: I can't tell....She's in the middle of one right now. They seem pretty intense.

Christine: Breathing? Moaning? Has she called Debbie?

At this point he asked ME how far apart they were! I looked at him like he had two heads and told him I didn't know, that he should check the app on the phone IN HIS HAND and find out.

Joel: Moaning pretty loud....they're about 3.5 min apart....We haven't called Debbie yet.

When he told me they were 3.5 minutes apart, I knew what was coming next. The phone rang, it was Christine. I was in the middle of a contraction and I knew she was calling to hear what one sounded like. I heard her tell him she was on her way. She sounded like things were urgent, but I couldn't figure out why. In my head, active labor had just started, and she only lives 20 minutes away (with traffic)

Then I got one more text message, “Call Debbie.” It was 1:02 AM

I called Debbie and she answered within the first ring. I was between contractions, so I could talk. I told her that the contractions were 3.5 minutes apart and that Christine was on her way. And then I had one. It was loud, and it was fierce. Debbie said she was on her way with the same sense of urgency that Christine had had. I still didn't understand why they were in such a hurry. It didn't click for me at all. I had a second one while I was still on the phone with her. She told me I was doing a good job, and she'd be there soon. I got tired of talking and threw the phone to Joel and told him to hang it up. Debbie told me later that she “never dropped a phone so fast to get dressed” and had called the team by the end of my second contraction.

Once I knew everyone was on their way, I think I relaxed. Things seemed to pick up and I just let myself go. I don't remember things being painful or any worse. In fact, I think things felt easier. Sure, they were the most intense and gripping contractions I had experienced, but I wasn't questioning them anymore. I was free to ride them and just let them happen. There was no longer anything “wrong.”

I yelled at Joel to get all the unbagged pillows and blankets off the bed that had made their way there since Monday morning. I told him to figure out how to work the pump so he could get some of the cold water out of the pool (note to self – make sure this is practiced ahead next time). I still wanted to try the pool again.

And then, it happened. I road a contraction up until the peak, and then I grunted. Oh shit. Did Joel hear that? “No, “ I said aloud. My poor husband was running around the room trying to follow all the directions I was throwing at him in between contractions, and then I say, “no”? He was very confused. I had another one, and I felt my body trying to push. I didn't want to tell him what was happening because I knew he would be scared, but after a few more like that I told him, “Call Debbie back and tell her I'm PUSHY”. I emphasized specifically emphasized “push-y.” According to my phone log that was at 1:18 AM. Sixteen minutes after I called her the first time. I thought I might have some time, since I had pushed for an hour with my daughter. I was ok, so I just went with it.

He called her back and said, “You have to hurry. She's pushing!” We have pretty poor cell phone reception near the front wall of our house (where the bed is) so the two of them got disconnected several times. I yelled at him, “I AM NOT PUSHING, I'm PUSH-Y!” followed by a loud, roaring push. It was probably quite comical. In fact, I'm sure it was! When Debbie was finally back on the phone, I could tell she was giving him instructions on what to do. He was running around trying to follow instructions, but I could tell he couldn't think straight and was really scared and overwhelmed with what was happening.

I told him to put the phone on speaker and to put it by my head on the pillow (I was still on my knees) so I could talk to Debbie and not relay things through my poor, frantic husband. I knew one of us had to be calm and in charge, and it looked like it was going to be me. I had been to births before, and I had walked in on two accidental unassisted homebirths. One of those was Ashley's recent birth. I also knew that precipitous births tend go just fine.

Debbie was very calm, and told us we would be fine. She said, “You guys need to calm down.” I turned my head toward Joel and screamed, “YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!” I may have sounded frantic on the outside, but inside I was completely calm. I had a big contraction and felt the baby move a good 3 inches and slide under the pubic bone. That's when I knew that no one was going to make it. I told Debbie what happened, and I prepared to deliver my own baby.

With the next push I thought I felt him crowning, but since I wasn't sure I put my hand down to feel for his head. I will never forget the velvety feeling of my son's little head as it was emerging. I held my hand gently against it as I pushed again and the rest of his head delivered. Just as this was happening, I heard the door chime and Joel screamed, “Hurry!” to whomever it was that had just arrived. I looked up (I was facing the door) and I saw Christine. I was never so happy to see her in my life. I think Joel was even more happy.

She ran over to me and saw that his head was out, but it was very purple. Think purple like Violet in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when she chews the blueberry gum. She didn't know that his head had JUST been born, and that I was between contractions. To her, it looked like he was stuck. She yelled for me to push, that he needed to come out. I tried, but I had no contraction to work with so there was no moving him. She had me flip over onto my back (which was actually much easier to do than I thought it would be) and by the time I got there I had another contraction. With Christine holding my left leg, and me holding my right, Reuben Moshe was born onto the bed at 1:30 AM!

When I picked him up, he was still purple and his eyes were closed. He wasn't trying to move, either. I pulled him up and sort of gently rubbed him with a towel. I knew he looked bad, but I also knew that he was fine. I just knew. Christine ran to the birth supplies and pulled a bulb syringe out while telling us to rub him more vigorously to get him to cry. She finally got the bulb open and handed it to Joel. I knew he wouldn't really know what he was supposed to do with it, so I took it from him and suctioned my baby. “Nose first, then mouth. Babies are obligate nose breathers, ” I said to myself. I knew we wouldn't get much from suctioning him, but I did it anyway. He opened his eyes and looked at me. I talked to him, and Christine told us to keep stimulating him until he took a deep breath – he hadn't yet.

And then finally, he cried. I think that's when Christine and Joel started breathing again. I laid back on the pillows and just held my him as we waited for Debbie to arrive. I think this was when he nursed for the first time. She walked in the room just 2 or 3 minutes later with Kim right behind her. Everyone talked about how Reuben looked just like his big brother!

Sarah arrived shortly after, and began taking pictures of what was left of the birth experience. About 20 minutes after he was born, the placenta was ready to come out. I was SO ready for it, too! I just wanted it to be over. And then it was. The placenta slipped out and Debbie checked it over. She showed it to me and I noted the nice, thick membrane I had created thanks to all that Vitamin C! And when did they break, you ask? Debbie declared them ruptured at the time of birth!

Eventually, Debbie asked me if it was ok to cut the cord. I may have done a double take because I was shocked that she asked me. It makes perfect sense now, but at the time I was wondered why on Earth she was waiting for permission! I told her that was fine and Joel cut the cord. I handed the baby over to Debbie, and she wrapped him up and handed him to Joel while I rolled out of the bed.

I walked to the bathroom and got back into my shower, only this time I wasn't in labor anymore! What sweet relief it was to just enjoy the hot water! Reuben got a partial bath while I was in there to wash of the meconium on his legs from right after he was born. After my shower, I put on my own clothes, and climbed back into my freshly made bed. It was so crazy to think that just an hour or so earlier I was pushing my son out RIGHT THERE!

Kim and Debbie set everything up to do the newborn exam, and I happily sat and ate one of the leftover doughnuts as I watched Reuben get checked out. It was so amazing to watch the love and appreciation they had for my baby as they gently checked him over. He was declared perfect and quite well-done (as noted by all his peeling skin). Definitely an almost 42-weeker! He had some bruising on his face from the rapid decent, so we decided to go ahead with the Vitamin K injection. I wasn't really opposed to it anyway. Debbie gave it and then quickly cuddled him and apologized for hurting him before passing him back to me. I placed him gently on the bed and dressed him in his first cloth diaper, hat, and warm fleece pajamas.

After everyone made sure we had everything we needed, they packed up and were gone just as quickly as they had arrived. And then it was over. I sat there alone on my bed with my hours-old baby. I looked at him and I couldn't believe I had done it. I had a completely, 100% natural birth. I owned it, which is exactly what I had always said my goal would be.

Although I didn't get to share the experience with everyone as I had hoped, it was 100% mine. I did everything myself – for real. Down to the very.last.push.

Reuben's Birth: Epilogue